Ten Things You Always Wanted To Know About Farts
                     (But Were Embarrassed To Ask)


1. The formal word for farts is "flatulate."  While the word fart can serve
   as a noun or a verb, flatulate is a verb only.

2. Farts are a concoction of air, methane gas and other gases.  Because
   methane is odorless, it is these other gases that provide aroma.

3. The unpleasant odor associated with flatulence comes from foods
   containing chemicals such as sulfur.  Some of the more notorious suspects
   would include eggs, beans, cabbage, cheese, and beer.

4. Men average approximately 13.63 expulsions of gas per day.  Women
   (supposedly) average 3.28.

5. The legendary "Blue Flame":  12% of men admit to having ignited their own
   farts.

6. "Passing" the buck:  52% of men and women admit to having blamed others
   for their own flatulence, suggesting that may be one of humankind's
   oldest lies is also one of its most widespread.

7. When posed the question, "How long do you have to be 'going out' with
   someone before you'll fart in their presence?" the average of responses
   came out to 92.77 days -- 62.98 for men and 149.82 for women.

8. Etiquette tip:  If you clench your sphincter while passing gas,
   tremendous noise will be generated.  Relaxing this muscle will result in
   a smooth, silent release.

9. Common terms for flatulation:  poot, blow, cut the cheese, rip/cut one,
   float an air biscuit, blast, break wind, and lift a leg.

10. Some not-so-common terms for flatulation:  crepitate, eructate, kwatz,
    carpet creeper, spider bark.