MEGA MORON #1 A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man = pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk = promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, = leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got = from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. (If someone points a gun at you and = gives you money, was a crime committed?) MEGA MORON #2 A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and = carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, = MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F _ _ _-UP!" For a moment, everyone was = silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been = about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn & fired before the thief = got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved = "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a f_ _ _k-up!" MEGA MORON #3 Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that = he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some = booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his = head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be = thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store = window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. MEGA MORON #4 As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed = her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was = able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within = minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the = car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car = and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes Officer, that's her. = That's the lady I stole the purse from." MEGA MORON #5=20 and 5 STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!!!=20 When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a = Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived = at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near = spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying = to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank = by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying = that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. MEGA MORON #6 The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger = King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The = clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register = without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said = they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. MEGA MORON #7 Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running = a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of = pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper = off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the = chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to = the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the = bumper.